A dachshund will never be a lab, and a lab will never be a poodle. This is okay. I've been working with Kody long enough to know there are some things that are just traits I need to learn to live with. He's a barker, that's his natural response to new stimuli. I can't change that.

For a long time I've been trying to train Kody, but I've also been trying to change him. I am beginning to see the parts of Kody that can't be changed and I'm starting to find ways to work with that and appreciate him for who he is. I know he's great, but like the straight parent of a gay child, I don't fully understand him.

Most parents get this, but I think with dogs, humans are still at the very beginning of the learning curve on how behavior, personality, and training interact.

For me, what I do know is that Kody can go from alarm barking to calm. So it's less about eliminating the barking and more about learning to communicate to him that whatever his requirements are for calm have been met. And that's the big thing, I still have to learn what those requirements are, and Kody's the only one who can teach me.

I'm so thankful to Kody for helping me learn all this.

Kody was a perfect gentleman, and even seemed oddly more socialized than the other dog. He did a couple of butt sniffs and a crotch sniff. The other dog wasn't that interested after the initial greeting.

It was interesting to watch because Kody seemed to know what to do more than I thought he would. I guess his fear had just prevented him from doing it before this.

Other than that, both dogs just seemed to mostly ignore each other. Kody would rather hang out with me. Which is actually what I've noticed most of the time with even well socialized dogs. They all tend to do their own thing, even when around other dogs. Although I'm not sure if it's the same with dogs that live with each other. I've noticed that they tend to hang out together, but I haven't observed it that much.

For those of you with social dogs this doesn't sound like much, but for me, this is the culmination of years of work. I thought I would be more emotional about it, but really I was just relieved.

Today Kody and I faced our biggest challenge yet. Right outside our back door five construction workers were making repairs to the siding and the fences. They were hammering on our walls and using nail guns. They were ripping down fences and dropping them on our patio and they were climbing up ladders. We were in quite a situation… this is our story.

I was shocked into the situation. Shortly after we got out of bed, Kody noticed the men. Kody is already accustomed to the leaf blower guy, but five guys at once, who don't leave? This was big. I had no choice, I just immediately started playing "look at that" and clicking and treating.

At any moment for two hours there was either a new sound or a new person or a new object present. We went through more treats than ever, which honestly, is totally okay. When doing positive training, treats aren't like ice creams sundaes, they're just really good food. So to make up for it Kody had a small dinner.

However, I will say that Kody is totally full. I set out some small watermelon pieces for him a little while ago and he just ignored them, I've never seen him that full.

He had his special cooked lunch, training treats, and a chewy treat all right near the construction. It was taking so long we added some mat training in too, so when Kody did get a treat, he was expected to be on his mat when he got it.

Two hours in, I was done and tired, and I just had to hope he could contain himself. And he did. He just laid by the window and watched the men hammer and build. Oh my gosh, was this my dog?

A funny thing happens when you do this kind of training right. The goal of course, is to say, "That thing you think is scary isn't scary at all, it's awesome because good things happen when it happens." So Kody had switched from being scared to being intensely curious about the men. He liked them. He wanted to meet them. He was sad when they left for the day.

No, he wasn't 100% sure they were awesome, but he was 90% sure. He was willing to give them the benefit of the doubt.

We did go outside one time on leash to pee, and he did well. I didn't want to bother the men and there was too much dangerous stuff for Kody to get into to stay out long. But I was happy with it.

I find it fascinating to watch the changes in Kody. He's a tough case, but I'm learning how to communicate with him in these tough times.

I've realize that dogs survived because they knew that being nice to humans would get them food. They knew that helping humans would get them food. Dogs have it built into their core to work for food, and it's on that basis that I communicate with Kody. It makes sense, and it works.

Kody was behaving amazingly well around the ducklings today. He was growling out the back porch and I was waiting for him to calm down expecting there to be nothing there. When I finally looked, there were ducklings!

We played "look at that" and Kody was very excited about the ducklings then and stopped growling. At that point, he just wanted to play.

What I didn't get was pictures of was Kody being so good outside right next to these ducks. He was really good most of the time keeping a good distance but then at one point he started chasing the ducklings, but gently not like he was being predatory.

But they hung out by us again anyway. He didn't appear to ruin the relationship. Kody was very interesting in smelling everyplace the ducklings went, which was just about everywhere.

We have a lot of ducks and geese around here. The ducks are nicer than the geese. Yesterday there were two geese with just one baby gosling. Kody definitely keeps his distance from the geese. I have pictures of that too but they're not very good, the parents were shielding the gosling from the camera.

The realization was that my interaction with Kody was inadvertently teaching him how he should behave with guests. So when I let him lick my face all the time or jump on the back of the couch and lay behind my neck, he was getting the idea that this is how he should behave with all humans.

Even worse, this behavior is far too intimate for him too be comfortable doing it with anyone, but at the same time he really wanted to interact with them.

So, new rule, no more getting on the back of the couch for any reason. This isn't safe anyway. It's easy enough to stop: if he jumps on the back of the couch I just lean forward. He can't get to me so he jumps back down.

The other new rule is that only I can initiate kisses when he has all four paws on my lap and has not jumped up. When I do, they are quick kisses followed by a thank you and petting.

So we are well on our way to teaching him that being petted is the most rewarding form of human contact, and he's really getting it.

My guests all know some new rules and methods of petting Kody that he's in control of and fairly comfortable with. He's still a little stressed out but at the same time loves the attention and asks and to be and enjoys being petted. He's making fast progress.

At first we would just put the harness on and give Kody hot dogs. He showed the classic behavior of freezing on the spot that dogs exhibit when humans attempt to put costumes or other clothing on them.

At first, he just got hot dogs places where he could reach them. The next step was throwing hot dog bits a few feet away. After just a couple of days of this, Kody was excited for "the harness game" as we call it, a phrase he now recognizes.

His excitement did not extend to wearing the harness right away, just to the game and treats part. He quickly knew I was trying to lure him to get his feet to the place they belong so that I can gently lift up and buckle the harness. (These step-in harnesses are awesome.) At first he would try to refuse to even get near that position. Now he will usually leave one leg out awkwardly, but he gets more comfortable with it every day.

At this point after we buckle the harness, we walk slowly around the apartment with Kody on my right side giving him treats as often as it takes to keep him in roughly the correct position. The idea is to get him used to staying by my right leg facing forward as we walk.

Like potty training, it's intensive, which is why we do one short walk, of about 20-30 feet around the apartment and that's it for the day. Any more and he and I would get bored. But once he's good and reliable at that off leash, we'll attach the leash and do the same thing. After that we'll start just going out the door and back in and eventually we'll get loose leash walking, I hope.

The idea is that when the harness is on, being next to me will just feel like the right place to be.

Kody teaches me so much about patience, I really enjoy this, but I can see how it's not for everyone. Luckily most dogs are a lot easier to train than Kody, my wonderful Asperger's dog! I wouldn't trade him for anything in the world.

Later I tried some other things such as flexible mesh harnesses, but nothing ever felt right. The leash attachments were either in the wrong place, they were hard to adjust, they pulled in uncomfortable places, and they just didn't makes sense.

It's just not in Kody's personality to walk on a leash without pulling. When I started clicker training with him and started really paying attention to him, I realized that. He's a dog that loves to smell, has high energy, and isn't afraid to keep trying if at first he doesn't succeed. This means if he thinks he can pull on the leash and wants to, he'll continually try regardless of the consequences.

I've tried no-pull harnesses with a front attachment and I realized that this is just torture for Kody. He'll get the message that if he pulls on the leash, he gets pulled sideways, but instead of just not pulling he'll get frustrated and depressed and shut down. That doesn't make me feel like a good dad, so we gave up on that pretty quickly.

We haven't been doing a lot of walking lately because Kody can go potty without a leash. But the last time I went to the vet I realized that looking at harnesses again would be a good idea.

The first thing I did was buy a flexible measuring tape so I could measure Kody's chest (19" – 20") and neck (13" – 14") and know for sure what size would work for him. I always seem to buy things that are too small.

I went to the big name pet store today just expecting to look, but they had apparently changed their whole perspective on harnesses. Almost every harness they had was of a type I hadn't seen before, the "easy step-in comfort harness".

This was a harness that actually made sense to me, and for the first time I could see Kody liking it and me using it. It had a correctly placed leash attachment and straps that would pull gently and evenly.

It's easy to put on, just lay the harness down, have your dog step into the right places, then pull the harness up around your dog and click. This is not a harness you have to fight with your dog about. Until Kody learns where to step I just lifted him gently to the right place. He's wary of the harness for now, but it was still so easy.

Today we just pretty much gave him treats while the harness was on for about 5 minutes then removed it. Once he sees the harness as a fun thing, we'll also train him to step in the right places himself. Eventually, he'll start looking forward to wearing the harness and then we'll attach the leash.

Then we begin the very slow and forgiving training to get Kody to be manageable on leash. I'll keep you updated.

For Kody, this training is going to have to be slow because there's so much accidental punishment in it. If you attach a leash and just start walking down the block, he would not like it. He wants to sniff and smell, and lets face it, he's a dachshund with attitude and I love him for it.

Recently I've even trained Kody that going pee in the bushes is better than going on the grass. He used to always pee in the grass, now he pees in the bushes or someplace else off the grass about 75% of the time. How did I do this? It's easy, I just gave him a training treat when he went someplace I liked. When he went on the grass I told him what a good dog he was. Both are positive, but he likes one better than the other. When he got used to going off the grass he just does it now even if there isn't a treat involved, although if I have treats on me, I will still give him one to reinforce the behavior.

Tonight I was very tired when he gave me the signal he needed to go out. He had just peed a few minutes earlier and had already gone poop in the morning so I doubted him. I called him over to hang out with me, which he did, but soon he was asking to go out again.

Here's the issue, Kody doesn't lie. There are rare times when he wants to go out to sniff something, but he behaves totally differently on those occasions. I knew he was telling the truth. We went out and sure enough, he had to poop.

Why doesn't Kody lie? Because if he goes outside and pees or poops he gets a treat when we come back in. If he doesn't go potty, I tell him what a good dog he is. Now that we've established that pattern, and especially when it's cold, he doesn't want to go outside "just for fun" very often. It's not bad if he wants to go outside just for fun, that's what dogs do, I'm just not going to give the great rewards for that.

He also only gets praise if he gets me out of bed at night to go potty. That's a case where I want him to do it, but only if going potty is reward enough to him.

I think this is an interesting case. It shows you can train your dog even if you praise him for behavior you don't prefer. You just have to give something better when he does something you like. That's how you build a good relationship with your dog.

Notes on Treats

I should just mention since I posted a link to this post, the treats I talk about here are small training treats, not big treats. Cutting up a hot dog into little pieces type of size. I have other small treats sitting right by the door Kody goes out, so if he does his business, there's always a treat ready for me to give him. I don't have to go hunting for it.

I have a little pouch to hold treats if I'm using them outside, also stored right by the door. The thing about positive training is it only works if you have the "positive" on you so you can treat at the right times.

He was better when we got into the vet, but was still pretty shocked. Inside, he is fascinated with the other dogs. There was another dachshund he was very curious about.

The trip did have some lasting effects though. He was a little more barky this evening, as happens after he's had a traumatic event.

I've been really busy, and we've solved a number of other issues, but I'm going to start working toward making our vet trips a bit easier. The next step for us is getting the leash thing down. I've been avoiding this by going out in the back yard, but it's time to get started again. We're going to have to take super small baby steps, but that's what works.

I was able to cut up some hot dogs and talk to the guys and he was so good. Then I went and threw hot dog bits to him to reinforce how great it is when guest come over.

Its nice to have such positive and stress-free experiences.

Kody got excited. A few times before I had brought out the hot dogs to train Kody that the leaf blower guy was a good thing. Well, today, he was ready to start the party! He did a quick little report bark to me to remind me it was time for some fun, and looked excitedly out for the leaf blower guy. I have some lower value training treats at the ready, so I asked the person on the call to be patient and explained to them what I had to do.

I made sure there was a party while the leaf blower guy was nearby and outside the slider. But Kody was so excited, he really wanted to have some fun. After leaf blower guy left he was throwing out behaviors to try to keep it going. He even went over and sat patiently on his mat. Oh my gosh, I had to get up and give him a treat for that.

It would have been a disaster a year ago, but this time it was simply a responsibility to parent.

As a sign of our training progress a gardener with a rake just started raking outside our slider and Kody just calmly watched him. I grabbed some treats to give him to reinforce the good behavior.

It’s nice to be surprised by such things.

Cesar Millan is suffering quite a lot of very scientific criticism and probably will either change or fade away. Positive trainers are more vocal and there are a lot more of them since accredited schools actually teach positive training based on behavioral research done at universities around the country. Positive training has moved from theory to fact, and dog owners are reaping the benefits of less stress and better relationships with better behaved dogs.

But what about me?

Kody and I now have a little strip of back yard and all of our journeys outside are off leash. We only go about 50 feet but one thing I’ve learned about Kody is he doesn’t like walks, he’s more than happy to go back inside and usually has grabbed a pine cone to trade for a treat once we get in.

Occaisionally when it’s warm he wants to stay outside. This means me sitting in a patio chair and him laying on the patio calmly watching the kids laugh and scream and play in the pool. He loves to watch them. This is the dog that used to bark at everything.

We “brush” Kody’s tooth with the crown every night. Right now I just rub it with my finger but it’s getting easier every time. This is not just Kody learning but I’m learning the best way to reach in. We’ve been making progress for months but its not the kind of thing you can rush into. Eventually we’ll use a toothbrush, but no rush. By the way, Kody loves this. As soon as he’s had his dinner he’s gesturing that he’s ready to have his teeth brushed. When he knows it’s going to happen he runs around like a puppy. So I know I’m doing it right. It’s a bonding time.

Life is pretty smooth. I never thought I would appreciate a dog so much. Every day I have at least one moment of complete awe at how awesome he is.

There can be no doubt Jennifer Arnold knows her stuff when it comes to training dogs. As the founder and CEO of Canine Assistants, Inc. in Milton, Arnold and her staff have taught thousands of pups to become service, companion and seizure response dogs for the handicapped.

Now Arnold, whose nonprofit organization was featured in a PBS documentary, has penned a book about her teaching philosophy and experience. “Through a Dog’s Eyes” (Spiegel & Grau, Random House, $25) details how Arnold rose from her teenage battle with multiple sclerosis to found Canine Assistants in 1991. Along the way in her much-anticipated book, she debunks popular dominance-based training methodologies, details her observations about the bond between man and animal and shares her method of “choice training.” Arnold’s teaching is heavily based in positive reinforcement, a concept that rewards the dogs for good behaviors and gives the dog freedom to make the right decisions.

Jennifer Arnold: Canine Assistants founder pens book, takes dominance training to task

But it’s not because it’s just popular, it’s because it works and os scientifically provable. It’s not a risk to talk about it.

Doggy Manners

It’s actually kind of hard seeing these dogs so happy with the kids. I’m sure the shelter will work extra hard to male sure these particular dogs find homes, but it’s a good reminder that every dog out there has the potential to be a loving companion and just wants to be loved back.

The most important thing we can do is never buy a dog. If people refuse to pay for dogs there will be no market for over breeding and puppy mills. There are plenty of loving dogs of all breeds waiting to be adopted.

Sorry to be preachy. While this story is happy, thinking about these poor dogs who desperately need homes makes me so sad.

Video: Students learn dog-training skills

Fenuxe Interview: Victoria Stilwell

However, the alpha roll itself is probably not so great.

Is it really cruel to perform an ‘alpha roll’ on your dog?

In the end, it comes down to which method science can prove works (not only for dogs, but humans too.)

Cesar Millan or Victoria Stillwell? Who Would You Rather Have Train Your Dog?

After I shut the cupboard door, I hear Kody scurrying down the hall out of the bedroom after which he runs straight to his mat, sits and looks at me. (By the way, mat training obviously going very well.) How did he know what I just did? I mean obviously it must be the sound of that particular cupboard door but it has rubber bumpers and he heard it all the way from the bedroom. I didn’t even hear it and I was right next to it.

If you have any stories about your dog’s amazing senses, please share them in a comment. I’m fascinated by this.